You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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