I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
