It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
