My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
