Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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