FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
