Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
