Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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