The maid of honor just puked.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
