So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
