I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you would pick up someone in the library
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
