Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will be naked everywhere
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
