Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Come share oat with me in your robe
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
