Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
