so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
