real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
