Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
