guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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