i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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