break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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