where am i from again
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
