I want to walk on stilts...naked
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
