If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am available for nakedness
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
