he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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