I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
