Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I enjoy the company of your penis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
