How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
