The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
