dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
