Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
