I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
