Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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