moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
