whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
