I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
