i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
