No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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