Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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