Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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