we're making bets on your personal life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
