so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
