I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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