Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
