I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
