You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
