he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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