Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
false alarm, still single
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