I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
