do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
