He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
